What I've Learned: Month Off Edition
Many have asked me why it has been so long between posts. Ok, one person asked. My response: I HAVE SCHOOL. School is hard. Check that, school is time consuming, and having your time consumed is hard. Therefore, when given the choice between spending my free time drinking beer and kicking ass or making posts on a website, I will always choose the former.
To keep you up to speed, I took exams, then I went to the river. Then I went home. Then I got sick. Then I got better. Then I came back. Then I went to Houston. Then I came back. Then I started school. Then my grandma turned 80. Ok, all caught up.
But yes, I learned a few things in the last month.
- CVS is in the midst of a methodical takeover of Planet Earth. I saw a CVS swallow an Eckerd's whole right in front of my eyes. I didn't understand why that CVS would want to set up shop right across the street from another CVS, that is, until I came across their plan for world domination. All I can say is, August 2009 is going to be a bloody month.
- People who update their blogs five times in one day are either vain, idiotic, or both. No one cares that you are eating a bran muffin for breakfast (while you type this!). No one cares that your dog dragged home an old shoe. No one cares that your grades haven't been posted yet. And no one cares that they weren't posted five minutes ago either. If people around you do care, then you, my friend, are surrounded by idiots and you are their king. This goes double for you law school types. We are all in the same boat. If you don't have anything else to add to the world than "I studied for seven hours today for the Crim Law final," then don't set up a blog. Now, if in the course of studying, you found a map detailing where hidden Nazi gold is located, that is an anecdote worth sharing.
* I realize this is my second post today. This is the exception that proves the rule. Also, I am a hypocrite.
- People on 'The Real World' are wastes of skin. People who were on the Real World eight years ago, are now in their mid-30s and continue to show up to Real World events, and are hired by MTV to comment on the current Real World are wastes of skin who need to get real jobs. People who watch the Real World are slowly becoming wastes of skin. People whose significant other watches the Real World need to seriously reconsider the decision they have made. And, for the record, Coral, people will stop calling you a stupid bitch when you stop acting like one.
- George Lucas has a great imagination and a spectacularly horrible ear for dialogue.
- You, in the sleeveless t-shirt, multiple gold chains, and the 1992 Ford Explorer, you are a 24 year old white guy who lives with his parents. I'll give you one guess why she won't go out with you. And it's not because she's a bitch, so stop yelling that.
- Remarking that a 39 minute drive without traffic "isn't that bad" is a sign you have been in Houston for too long.
- The kid who continually walks into PR at 9:20 needs to be told that the class starts at 8:40. He also needs to be told to stop sitting near me.
- The desire to read for class is infinitely lower during the summer...and since it was pretty much non-existent before...
To keep you up to speed, I took exams, then I went to the river. Then I went home. Then I got sick. Then I got better. Then I came back. Then I went to Houston. Then I came back. Then I started school. Then my grandma turned 80. Ok, all caught up.
But yes, I learned a few things in the last month.
- CVS is in the midst of a methodical takeover of Planet Earth. I saw a CVS swallow an Eckerd's whole right in front of my eyes. I didn't understand why that CVS would want to set up shop right across the street from another CVS, that is, until I came across their plan for world domination. All I can say is, August 2009 is going to be a bloody month.
- People who update their blogs five times in one day are either vain, idiotic, or both. No one cares that you are eating a bran muffin for breakfast (while you type this!). No one cares that your dog dragged home an old shoe. No one cares that your grades haven't been posted yet. And no one cares that they weren't posted five minutes ago either. If people around you do care, then you, my friend, are surrounded by idiots and you are their king. This goes double for you law school types. We are all in the same boat. If you don't have anything else to add to the world than "I studied for seven hours today for the Crim Law final," then don't set up a blog. Now, if in the course of studying, you found a map detailing where hidden Nazi gold is located, that is an anecdote worth sharing.
* I realize this is my second post today. This is the exception that proves the rule. Also, I am a hypocrite.
- People on 'The Real World' are wastes of skin. People who were on the Real World eight years ago, are now in their mid-30s and continue to show up to Real World events, and are hired by MTV to comment on the current Real World are wastes of skin who need to get real jobs. People who watch the Real World are slowly becoming wastes of skin. People whose significant other watches the Real World need to seriously reconsider the decision they have made. And, for the record, Coral, people will stop calling you a stupid bitch when you stop acting like one.
- George Lucas has a great imagination and a spectacularly horrible ear for dialogue.
- You, in the sleeveless t-shirt, multiple gold chains, and the 1992 Ford Explorer, you are a 24 year old white guy who lives with his parents. I'll give you one guess why she won't go out with you. And it's not because she's a bitch, so stop yelling that.
- Remarking that a 39 minute drive without traffic "isn't that bad" is a sign you have been in Houston for too long.
- The kid who continually walks into PR at 9:20 needs to be told that the class starts at 8:40. He also needs to be told to stop sitting near me.
- The desire to read for class is infinitely lower during the summer...and since it was pretty much non-existent before...
posted by The Humble Best at 9:42 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home