What I've Learned: Spring Break Edition

- When Will Farrell throws half-eaten food on the ground in Anchorman, it's hilarious. When obnoxious drunk people from Alabama do it, it's disgusting.
- Ending the night at Krystal's as the sun comes up is almost worth the bottle of Tums you have to eat the next day.
- Lake Charles is not the next Vegas. I stand corrected.
- The French made it 45 minutes up the river, found a spot of dry land and put up a city...failing to notice the miles and miles of swamp that surrounded it. They couldn't even do anything right 400 years ago.
- Jackson, Mississippi is nicer than you would think, but not nice enough to change your mind about Mississippi.
- However, Jackson must be the largest city in America without a Starbucks. Not even one in a hotel.
- Speaking of hotels, they don't like it when you sit in their lobbies to use the wireless internet. Unless you lie about having to find emergency lodging in Jackson. (Note: I was getting gas when the lie occurred. I thank the fine people at the Hampton Inn in Batesville, Mississippi for the generosity and apologize for my friends. I would have gladly given you $0.82 for the 5 minutes of internet time we used. On another note, who in Batesville uses the internet?)
- People in casinos are depressing. Particularly, the lady blowing her minimum wage paycheck as she sucks on a pack of Kools.
- Speaking of sucking, try to avoid Little Rock.
- Dry rub ribs are something every man should try. I don't care how we do it in Texas.
- Memphis is a city you can see in a day. Make that less than a day.
- Graceland is just a dead guy's house.
- New Orleans is a 2 night city. Anything more, and you have to call Wells Fargo to see if they make Spring Break Loans. (They don't.)
- How exhausted was I when I got home? Jane made perfect sense at lunch on Monday.