The Complaint: Common-Law Justice TV Shows
I know that the mediocre need justice too, but do they need to whore themselves out on TV so that other mediocre people can watch while they sit on their couch and collect Unemployment?
This genre was acceptable when there was only one: The People's Court. But even then, we only liked it because Dustin Hoffman liked it. And once Wapner left and was replaced by that arrogant red-headed bitch, the show has really lost much of its former glory.
In the last decade, the number of these shows has reached ludicrous levels. They include Judge Joe Brown, Judge Judy, Divorce Court, the previously mentioned The New People's Court, and my favorite: Texas Justice - a completely false moniker that doesn't even carry out our stereotypes correctly. Not once had anyone ended up with a boot in the ass.
To take up the feminist argument - or perhaps the postfeminist one - the female judges on these shows are nothing more than pushy, screaming hags who don't so much respect the law as they do expect people to respect them because they hold a gavel on TV. If I hear one of them say, "Who's the Judge here?" again, I may fly to LA, walk into the studio, and beat the hell of the producers with said gavel. No one likes a pushy asshole, so why do they think we will fall in love with one just because she is a 55-year-old lady from Long Island? I am all for gender equity, but if this is the best that can be offered, perhaps the female-aspiring-television-judges should make like the Democrats and regroup.
And do these people even have law degrees? "It seems that the plaintiff has made a clear case for theft and assualt, but the defendant's father went to my high school. Case Dismissed."
Why can't TV stations do what they used to do and play old Family Matters reruns from 11am-4pm? At least then we could all wonder what happened to the youngest daughter after season 5. I mean, she just up and disappeared. No explanation or anything. Weird, huh?
This genre was acceptable when there was only one: The People's Court. But even then, we only liked it because Dustin Hoffman liked it. And once Wapner left and was replaced by that arrogant red-headed bitch, the show has really lost much of its former glory.
In the last decade, the number of these shows has reached ludicrous levels. They include Judge Joe Brown, Judge Judy, Divorce Court, the previously mentioned The New People's Court, and my favorite: Texas Justice - a completely false moniker that doesn't even carry out our stereotypes correctly. Not once had anyone ended up with a boot in the ass.
To take up the feminist argument - or perhaps the postfeminist one - the female judges on these shows are nothing more than pushy, screaming hags who don't so much respect the law as they do expect people to respect them because they hold a gavel on TV. If I hear one of them say, "Who's the Judge here?" again, I may fly to LA, walk into the studio, and beat the hell of the producers with said gavel. No one likes a pushy asshole, so why do they think we will fall in love with one just because she is a 55-year-old lady from Long Island? I am all for gender equity, but if this is the best that can be offered, perhaps the female-aspiring-television-judges should make like the Democrats and regroup.
And do these people even have law degrees? "It seems that the plaintiff has made a clear case for theft and assualt, but the defendant's father went to my high school. Case Dismissed."
Why can't TV stations do what they used to do and play old Family Matters reruns from 11am-4pm? At least then we could all wonder what happened to the youngest daughter after season 5. I mean, she just up and disappeared. No explanation or anything. Weird, huh?
posted by The Humble Best at 5:26 PM
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