It's Not Just Women Whom I Prefer Barefoot
A remark from a friend of mine this morning has spurred me to explain my shoe policy.
As some of you already know - and if you don't, you haven't been paying attention - I do not enjoy wearing socks. I feel they are restricting, uncomfortable, and more importantly, have a high propensity for sogginess. For these reasons, I have avoided sock usage for the better part of seven years.
Living in Texas during those years, I rarely faced a problem with my lifestyle. Sandals are typically welcome in the schoolhouse and pretty much expected in college. I managed to tackle the "nice casual" problem - i.e. church, nice (but not too nice) social functions, dates, etc. - by purchasing a pair of clog-esque shoes that required no socks. You can find me wearing them still today.
My no-sock policy does not always work. My request to wear nice black sandals with my tux at Prom was discouraged, as was my attempt to buy a pair of "nice" sandals to go with a suit. Church is also tricky when you have to dress nice - weddings, funerals, christenings, first communions, bar mitzvahs, Christmas, Easter, Ramadan, etc. - so sometimes, I have to suck it up and wear shoes and socks.
And though the weather is nice here for most of the year, there are moments when I have to bundle my feet - say, when it rains for 10 straight days and the streets require a boat for passage because the genius who designed campus forgot drains and gutters. After attempting to attend to class in sandals on one of these occasions, only to arrive with water up to my knees, I have found that boots are really the better call there. Cold, however, has never been a reason for me to wear shoes. It gets cold for about three weeks a year here, and I am being generous. We spend most of our time inside during these days, so shoes arent really necessary. When we are outside, we are mainly heading from one indoor location to another, so, again, I don't find shoes necessary.
A few years ago, some bitter chick wrote an editorial in the Baylor newspaper about people who wear sandals in the winter. (This was pre-basketball murders, so the newspaper did not have much to talk about.) She goes off on a rail about how we must be morons for wearings open-toed shoes when it is 45 degrees outside. My friends and I were outraged. We calmly wrote a letter to the paper which outlined her bigotry and tyranny (yep, that's what we called it) - simulaneously mocking her editorial AND idiots who get offended by every little thing (such as the president of one of the most prestigious universities in the world pointing out the obvious differences in the genetic makeup of the genders). Then, we bought a box-load of sandals from Wal-Mart and placed them on her front porch. Then we burned them. (OK, we didn't burn them, but it would have been awesome if we had.)
I have played in the snow in sandals, I have hung out on the beach in sandals, I have taken exams in sandals, I have used my sandals as a weapon. I have never found myself in a situation where I have thought, "Wow, I wish I was wearing ridiculously expensive shoes." or "You know what would be awesome right now? Wearing socks."
In the end, if I don't feel like wearing socks, then don't try to make me. Don't ask if my feet are cold, implying that I am a moron for not wearing shoes. I know what I am doing. I don't ask you why you wear so much makeup or why you feel the need to dress like a picture in GQ. I figure you have your reasons. Let me have mine.
As some of you already know - and if you don't, you haven't been paying attention - I do not enjoy wearing socks. I feel they are restricting, uncomfortable, and more importantly, have a high propensity for sogginess. For these reasons, I have avoided sock usage for the better part of seven years.
Living in Texas during those years, I rarely faced a problem with my lifestyle. Sandals are typically welcome in the schoolhouse and pretty much expected in college. I managed to tackle the "nice casual" problem - i.e. church, nice (but not too nice) social functions, dates, etc. - by purchasing a pair of clog-esque shoes that required no socks. You can find me wearing them still today.
My no-sock policy does not always work. My request to wear nice black sandals with my tux at Prom was discouraged, as was my attempt to buy a pair of "nice" sandals to go with a suit. Church is also tricky when you have to dress nice - weddings, funerals, christenings, first communions, bar mitzvahs, Christmas, Easter, Ramadan, etc. - so sometimes, I have to suck it up and wear shoes and socks.
And though the weather is nice here for most of the year, there are moments when I have to bundle my feet - say, when it rains for 10 straight days and the streets require a boat for passage because the genius who designed campus forgot drains and gutters. After attempting to attend to class in sandals on one of these occasions, only to arrive with water up to my knees, I have found that boots are really the better call there. Cold, however, has never been a reason for me to wear shoes. It gets cold for about three weeks a year here, and I am being generous. We spend most of our time inside during these days, so shoes arent really necessary. When we are outside, we are mainly heading from one indoor location to another, so, again, I don't find shoes necessary.
A few years ago, some bitter chick wrote an editorial in the Baylor newspaper about people who wear sandals in the winter. (This was pre-basketball murders, so the newspaper did not have much to talk about.) She goes off on a rail about how we must be morons for wearings open-toed shoes when it is 45 degrees outside. My friends and I were outraged. We calmly wrote a letter to the paper which outlined her bigotry and tyranny (yep, that's what we called it) - simulaneously mocking her editorial AND idiots who get offended by every little thing (such as the president of one of the most prestigious universities in the world pointing out the obvious differences in the genetic makeup of the genders). Then, we bought a box-load of sandals from Wal-Mart and placed them on her front porch. Then we burned them. (OK, we didn't burn them, but it would have been awesome if we had.)
I have played in the snow in sandals, I have hung out on the beach in sandals, I have taken exams in sandals, I have used my sandals as a weapon. I have never found myself in a situation where I have thought, "Wow, I wish I was wearing ridiculously expensive shoes." or "You know what would be awesome right now? Wearing socks."
In the end, if I don't feel like wearing socks, then don't try to make me. Don't ask if my feet are cold, implying that I am a moron for not wearing shoes. I know what I am doing. I don't ask you why you wear so much makeup or why you feel the need to dress like a picture in GQ. I figure you have your reasons. Let me have mine.
posted by The Humble Best at 1:13 PM
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