What I've Learned: Fall '04 Semester Edition

- Fudge is not a proper cure for antisocial behavior, nor Asperger's syndrome.
- Chatrooms are better educators than Contracts professors.
- 8:30 Friday morning classes are tools of the devil.
- Never ask a drunk angry girl if she is OK. She will take a swing at you.
- There is no need to pack a lunch. You're just going to end up at Posse.
- The Civil War room loses its luster after six straight 10-hour days.
- There are worse things in the world than losing an intramural football game. One example: Being on the winning team and having to wear those crappy shirts.
- No matter what you say about Baylor, I will be able to counter with "We beat A&M" for the next five years.
- Paying attention in Legal Writing does not change anything.
- Austin makes me tired.
- When all else fails, say something funny.
- When trying to say something funny, use random pop culture references.
- When referring to pop culture, the more random, the better. Example: rather than just talking about Thundercats, talk about the glow-in-the-dark Thundercats lightswitch covers handed out by Burger King in 1987.
- If you think your semester was bad, think about that poor bastard that sat next to the Crusher in Contracts.
- Remember the nicknames you give people...your friends will ask.
- Arizona is farther south than Maryland.
- When playing poker with Joe, don't be surprised when he goes all in. In fact, call him on it.
- Anything involving Craig T. Nelson is hilarious.
- If you sit next to Mouth while watching the Redskins, be wary of flying hats.
- Cab drivers are only talkative if you have a girl with you.
- Law school ain't that hard.