Restatement (First) of Life
After consulting with Nick Fortune (Schanbaum, for the uninitiated), I have agreed to join him as an author of the Restatement (First) of Life.
Article 3 - Domestic Issues
Section 2 - Apartment Living
Subsection 7 - Laundry
When living in an apartment complex with shared laundry facilities:
A) Inspect the percentage of use of the machines in the room.
1. If majority of machines are in use, a household is allowed to use one (1) washing machine and (1) dryer at once. Note that simultaneous use of washing machine and dryer is permitted.
2. A household is defined as any and all living creatures contained within an apartment unit.
3. If majority of machines are not in use, multiple machine use is permitted.
4. If, during the course of a household's use of the laundry facilites, the percentage changes from minority to majority, or vice versa, the household must react accordingly.
B) Each household is responsible for time management of machine use.
1. When a cycle is complete, a household has ten (10) minutes from the time of the end of the cycle until other residents may empty the machine.
2. Other residents are not responsible for damage to items removed once time limit has expired, unless damage occured as a result of negligence on the part of the other resident. Normal negligence rules apply.
C) When dryer use is complete, a household is obligated to remove used fabric softener sheets and empty the lint trap.
D) No exceptions are made, under any provision, for age, race, gender, or religion.
E) Failure to comply with these provisions is punishable by either: 1) loss of laundry facilties privileges, or 2) stoning.
1. Punishment determined by vote of a quorum of other households.
i. As always, a quorum shall be composed of no less than 25 households.
Naturally, these provisions are moot in complexes with private laundry facilities.
Article 3 - Domestic Issues
Section 2 - Apartment Living
Subsection 7 - Laundry
When living in an apartment complex with shared laundry facilities:
A) Inspect the percentage of use of the machines in the room.
1. If majority of machines are in use, a household is allowed to use one (1) washing machine and (1) dryer at once. Note that simultaneous use of washing machine and dryer is permitted.
2. A household is defined as any and all living creatures contained within an apartment unit.
3. If majority of machines are not in use, multiple machine use is permitted.
4. If, during the course of a household's use of the laundry facilites, the percentage changes from minority to majority, or vice versa, the household must react accordingly.
B) Each household is responsible for time management of machine use.
1. When a cycle is complete, a household has ten (10) minutes from the time of the end of the cycle until other residents may empty the machine.
2. Other residents are not responsible for damage to items removed once time limit has expired, unless damage occured as a result of negligence on the part of the other resident. Normal negligence rules apply.
C) When dryer use is complete, a household is obligated to remove used fabric softener sheets and empty the lint trap.
D) No exceptions are made, under any provision, for age, race, gender, or religion.
E) Failure to comply with these provisions is punishable by either: 1) loss of laundry facilties privileges, or 2) stoning.
1. Punishment determined by vote of a quorum of other households.
i. As always, a quorum shall be composed of no less than 25 households.
Naturally, these provisions are moot in complexes with private laundry facilities.
posted by The Humble Best at 11:46 PM
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