Did We Ever Have a Chance?
Let's face it, we go to high school. We kind of know everyone, even if we can't remember names. We have lockers. We go to football games on the weekends. We hang out at the same restaurant after class. We even have the stereotypes. Thank God these sterotypes were been laid out for us over five seasons of Saved by the Bell.
We've got our share of Zack Morrises. The preppy white guys who wear ridiculous sweaters and have the preternatural ability to freeze time.
We have some AC Slaters (that's Albert Clifford to his mother), the jocks who sit backwards in chairs and wear sleevless t-shirts. There are typically a few homoerotic moments between the Zacks and Slaters each day.
There are even some Samuel "Screech" Powerses. I don't think I need to elaborate.
The ladies are equally broken down.
Some are Kellys. The pretty, popular girls who let the Zacks and Slaters fight over them and treat them like shit. But, they do get their own prom.
Others are Jesses. The overstimulated, far too concerned, activist, frigid bitches. They will become addicted to caffeine pills and eventually become strippers.
Still others are Lisas. They dress nicely and try to avoid the fact that the status quo has left only the Screeches as potential romantic interests.
Occasionally, random biker girls enter the law school when the Kellys are inexplicably out of town or modelling in France or something. And Milo, the wise janitor walks the halls. Billy Powers is obviously our Mr. Belding, trying to keep our hi-jinks to a minimum and molding us as the future leaders of tomorrow.
As for the rest, they are the "Extras," the people who walk back and forth in the halls while the Screeches get stuffed in lockers and the Jesses ask us to save the whales. They have no lines in the drama that is law school, but won't end up dead in a gutter in a decade (or on syndicated talk shows or third-tier reality shows).
Take solace in this assessment. Things could be worse, law school could be a lot like Dharma & Greg.
Bonus points if you know the title ref.
We've got our share of Zack Morrises. The preppy white guys who wear ridiculous sweaters and have the preternatural ability to freeze time.
We have some AC Slaters (that's Albert Clifford to his mother), the jocks who sit backwards in chairs and wear sleevless t-shirts. There are typically a few homoerotic moments between the Zacks and Slaters each day.
There are even some Samuel "Screech" Powerses. I don't think I need to elaborate.
The ladies are equally broken down.
Some are Kellys. The pretty, popular girls who let the Zacks and Slaters fight over them and treat them like shit. But, they do get their own prom.
Others are Jesses. The overstimulated, far too concerned, activist, frigid bitches. They will become addicted to caffeine pills and eventually become strippers.
Still others are Lisas. They dress nicely and try to avoid the fact that the status quo has left only the Screeches as potential romantic interests.
Occasionally, random biker girls enter the law school when the Kellys are inexplicably out of town or modelling in France or something. And Milo, the wise janitor walks the halls. Billy Powers is obviously our Mr. Belding, trying to keep our hi-jinks to a minimum and molding us as the future leaders of tomorrow.
As for the rest, they are the "Extras," the people who walk back and forth in the halls while the Screeches get stuffed in lockers and the Jesses ask us to save the whales. They have no lines in the drama that is law school, but won't end up dead in a gutter in a decade (or on syndicated talk shows or third-tier reality shows).
Take solace in this assessment. Things could be worse, law school could be a lot like Dharma & Greg.
Bonus points if you know the title ref.
posted by The Humble Best at 1:55 PM
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